We’re Naming the Next Two “Occupant” and “Resident,” So They Won’t Feel Left Out

That she has consistently misspelled the girl’s name—her own granddaughter, for cryin’ out loud—every birthday, every Christmas, every Valentine’s for the last nine years and despite repeated remonstrations from me, I suppose I could just chalk up as a stylistic folly; as a quirk, an affectation; as just her way.

But when one of those AOL e-cards she insists on sending opens up with a null value and the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RECIPIENT! come bouncing across the screen in huge letters, I can’t help wondering if maybe it’s carelessness after all.