Here's a handy grooming tip; When you're observing your morning ablutions away from home—say, in the locker room at the YMCA—an alcohol-based hand sanitizer makes a bracing, convenient substitute for aftershave lotion.
If hand sanitizer is unavailable, you could, alternately, just rub Sterno all over your face. And then LIGHT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING HEAD ON FIRE. It amounts to about the same.
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