Lingua Franca

Sometimes when I’m working on an article, even before wrapping the research or lining up my interviews, I’ll write an imaginary lede—partly as a way of finding an angle of approach into the story, partly to indulge my taste for absurdist goofs.

Here’s a bit of what I was working on this weekend...

Trixie Bellafonte, 58, was always an avid traveler—and like most us, she left her health and fitness concerns at home when she hit the road. “Vacations, I figured, were time off from all that stuff,” she says. “When I was traveling, I’d skip workouts and have hot fudge sundaes and tequila for breakfast.”

All that changed when a catastrophic frenulum injury struck, nearly ending Trixie’s career as a tongue model. A regime of organic foods and mild exercise restored her to health—and left her looking for ways to work wellness into her itinerary when she traveled. Mary found her solution in vacations planned around trips to luxury spas.

I’d almost rather talk to Trixie Bellafonte than to anyone for the piece I’m actually writing—but since she strained her palatoglossus, she hasn’t been much for talking.