Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Instant* Karma

* results not typical; actual time may vary; average karma speed ± 54 Mbps; some restrictions apply; consult a physician or priest if you experience karma lasting more than four hours

Sad to report that the Iron Buddha, longtime companion and friend of all my writing endeavors, expired on Monday, after a long battle with cancer of the C:/ drive. Compassionate to the end, he held on long enough to impart all his accumulated knowledge and wisdom to an external hard drive. This final work accomplished, he slept, never to boot again. His five years under the sun are fled now like snow washed away by rain.

But now the wheel turns, and a new dawn rises in the east; for on Saturday, when I saw that the Iron Buddha was coming near to the end of his sufferings, I went unto the Best Buy; and to them I did say, "Extend unto me thy credit, that I might partake of thy products and for eighteen months pay unto thee no interest." And the Best Buy did do this.

And I did go forth unto the computer department, and yea, I did say unto them, "One has come among you who is not here to fuck around and waste thy time, but who verily hath come to buy, this very day. Attend to me, for great is my need and fat is my line of credit." And they did fall upon like a pack of jackals. Very polite, helpful jackals. And they did set me right up.

And lo, something beautiful and terrible is born; midwived into our kitchen by the Geek Squad, the bodhisattva is come again, and he bears with him a gift better than the dharma: the gift of WiFi.

Upshot: next time I update this blog, I'll be doin' it while sitting on the can.*

* not really. At least, probably not really.

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