Tuesday, September 14, 2004


A question for Dizzee Rascal et al; how hard would it be to actually sing on key? You're obviously aiming for a Biz Markie effect on "Dreams," but the result is cringeworthy rather than amusing. Maybe I've been blessed with a preternaturally keen ear for melody, but it seems to me that anybody should be able to manage the sing-songy doddle of "Happy Talk" without hitting those blue-murder clinkers. Not suggesting you go all R. Kelly on us, but really—it wouldn't make your singing any less charmingly amateurish if you were to, y'know, hit the fucking notes. Eminem's no singer, but he manages the chorus of "Cleaning Out My Closet" (best heard in the blistering Jacknife Lee remix, BTW) without embarrassing either himself or us. If you can't at least manage that standard, then fer fucksakes leave it to a Hook Girl.

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